Weekly Mixed Tape: Commitment, Community, and Change
If you were to sit across a table from me, sip coffee or some other dark brew, and engage in conversation, you’d soon glimpse the kind of girl I am. You’d probably notice my transparency, the way my heart is stitched on both sleeves, the way my eyes give me away every time. You’d probably smirk over the way my face flushes instantly, no matter whether I’m angry or embarrassed or eager to talk saving the world. And you’d probably catch onto my head-in-the-clouds idealism, the way I’m so easily swayed by whimsy.
And if you got none of that, you’d undoubtedly realize this: I am the most undisciplined person to have ever walked this planet.
I have trouble finishing projects.
I find it hard to keep up correspondence with the best of friends.
I feel anxious when I’m forced to plan ahead of time.
You’d see that I’m a lot like the romanticized artist figure.
But that artist never accomplished anything worth writing home about. And I’ve got a huge Scotch-Irish family just waiting for letters.
So over the next few months, I hope you’ll see a change in me – a step towards a more disciplined artist.
And while I hope to begin posting three times a week again, I don’t foresee that happening for a few more weeks. Currently my head is swimming with packing and moving and beginning a new job in a new city.
Extend me a little grace for just a little while more.
Now onto the posts that have hit a little too close to home as of late:
ONE: chasing community
Alece wrote exactly what I didn’t what to hear (and somehow knew but didn’t want to admit): that finding community in Nashville will be just as difficult as it has been in every other city for me. It’s never easy finding those new friends who will form something of an extended family.
It’s beautifully rewarding in so many ways, but it’s also been hard.
Here’s another thing you’d probably notice about me: noncommittal is my middle name.
Commitment is a full-fledged phobia (that and being physically chased), and it leaves me feeling trapped – the kind of trapped that can only happen in horror movies where walls suddenly begin creeping in.
But what Jeremy said sobered me up:
We must stop living the tired story of fear of commitment and step into a story of purpose for our lives. A purpose of hard work. A purpose of living through something hard but good. A purpose of service. A purpose of generosity.
Bring on the commitment.
THREE: Greatness or Whatever
In all of the decisions I make daily, I’m always hoping one of them will lead to something. You know, something big.
And when I came across this article from the Burnside Writers Collective, I felt more reassurance than I’ve felt in a while:
As I sit here writing this from my Mac, looking at my iPhone charging on my nightstand, I’m overwhelmed by Jobs’ achievements and his unyielding faith that huge risks, cushioned by solid optimism and the belief that everything happens for a reason, will undoubtedly lead to greatness.
Have an incredible weekend, folks. Make every second count.
What did you read this week? or How do you chase down discipline?